Forget
by LilyxLithium
Summary: What would you give just to forget? Claire muses over her past and future. Oneshot.


_Hey everyone, this is my second RE fic. And its in Claire's pov. I hope you like it. Please review, they make me happy :D. _

_Disclaimer: Resident Evil doesn't belong to me. The words in italics are from the song "What I wouldn't Give" by Holly Brook._

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**Forget**

_Feeling like I can't forgive, but I want to._

_It's like I don't know how to live, I'm afraid to._

_I used to think take them as they come, without hesitation, no._

_But now it's like my head is filled with lies and persuasions._

_As the sun begins to fall I hear her calling out to me_

_She's sayin' hurry it's one more day gone._

I can't sleep very well anymore. It's really not hard to figure out why; I mean after everything that I have been through the past couple of years, it's pretty much a given. What with the destruction of Raccoon City and the incident at Rock Fort Island. It's like, whenever I close my eyes all I can see are the faces of those hideous zombies staring at me with their blood shot eyes, blood lust fueling their every move. Sometimes my dreams are so vivid and life like, I can even feel their rancid breath on the back of my neck, and their razor sharp nails digging into the flesh on my forearms.

_What I wouldn't give just to forget._

_So I can remember how to live again_

_I wanna live again._

About ten months after coming home from Europe with my brother Chris and dealing with Steve's death, I decided to try going back to college. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I had just gone through an extremely horrible ordeal; and the threat of an attack by Umbrella was hanging over our heads. But I decided to take a shot at having a normal life; and I was sick and tired of living in fear. I wanted my life back and I deserved it, damn it. Umbrella has taken everything from me, my innocence, people I cared about. And I'd be damned if I was going to let them take this small sliver of a chance at normalcy away from me. God…Now that I think about it…I was so god damned naïve.

_I am feeling dissonant, and distracted._

_The toxic chemicals are spilling in my head_

_And they're bleeding deadly reactions_

_As the moon begins to rise_

_He shows me all the colors that I'm hiding,_

_I'm hiding myself._

There's this one dream that I can't seem to get out of my head, no matter how hard I try. I remember, Chris and I are at back in Antarctica and Wesker is there. He's taunting my brother, forcing him into a battle he can't possibly win. Not against a monster like Wesker. They struggle, Chris taking every blow Wesker gives him. And while this is happening, all I can do is stand there and watch. I can't move; my body and brain are not on the same channel. It's like my boots are filled with cement weighing me down.

At one point, Wesker seizes Chris by his neck and lifts him up into the air. His feet dangling inches from the ground, he's squeezing the life right out of my brother. I glance down and see that my M39R is lying next to my feet; I reach down and grab it. I raise the gun in both hands, right index finger hovering over the trigger, and put Wesker in my sights. But, to my horror, I'm too late. Chris is already dead, lying on his back eyes open staring unseeing at the pre-dawn sky, _Oh God, Chris!_ I think. I was off by some fraction of a second and now, my brother, the only family I have left is dead. I couldn't save him, just like I couldn't save Steve.

_Am I desperately losing this fight._

_When I should really be choosing my flight_

_Take me, take me, take me, now._

_What I wouldn't give just to forget._

I let out a blood curdling scream and bolt up right. It takes my eyes and my brain a moment to realize I'm not in my room, but that I'm actually sitting in a classroom, surrounded by at least thirty or more students; all of whom are staring at me in utter shock. My professor turns away from the white board, an eyebrow arched questioningly;

"I'm so glad you find Darwinism so appealing, Ms. Redfield." He smirks at me and returns to his lecture. And to my horror half the class actually laughs. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear; throw my books into my book bag. I mumble an apology to no one in particular; and practically run for the door.

I was so stupid to actually believe I could lead some kind of normal life outside of zombies and immanent death that had surrounded me constantly in the past. Now, I don't dream of frivolous things like, graduating college and making something out of my life. All I think about is undoing all the damagethat Umbrella has done. Chris has started an anti-Umbrella campaign and all the old S.T.A.R.S. team members are apart of it. Leon's here as well. He joined shortly after returning from Spain after rescuing the President's daughter from some occult group. He doesn't talk about it much, but I can tell that his experience there has left him more jaded than the rest of us.

When will it ever end? Can someone please tell me, when will this battle be over? God…What I wouldn't give to make this all go away.

_What I wouldn't give to get some rest._

_What I wouldn't give just to forget._

_So I can remember how to live._

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So, what'd you think? Please review, thanks:) 


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